How Toxic Mothers Hurt Their Sons for Life
By Patrick Teahan, LICSW
When we talk about childhood trauma, the focus often falls on fathers. But mothers can leave wounds, too — deep ones that shape how a boy grows into a man. In this video, therapist Patrick Teahan shines a light on those overlooked dynamics. With honesty and empathy, he unpacks how toxic maternal behaviours — from control to neglect to emotional enmeshment — can ripple through a son’s identity, relationships, and sense of self.
Patrick doesn’t just describe the pain. He shows how these patterns form, how they carry into adulthood, and how men can begin the hard but liberating work of healing.
Key Themes Covered:
The roles sons get trapped in → Scapegoat, golden child, or emotional caretaker. These survival roles shape how men learn (or struggle) to relate.
The hidden cost of survival strategies → Coping mechanisms like shutting down, people-pleasing, or explosive anger may have once protected you, but as an adult they often stifle growth and block connection with others.
Impact on identity and masculinity → How constant criticism or control can leave men questioning their worth, their manhood, and their ability to trust themselves.
Healing and moving forward → The importance of boundaries, therapy, and self-compassion in rewriting the narrative for a story you didn’t choose, but can decide to move beyond.
Why It Matters:
So many men carry these scars silently, believing they should “just get over it” or that their struggles with intimacy and self-worth are personal failures. Patrick’s message is a powerful reminder: you’re not broken. You were shaped by difficult experiences and adapted to survive.
Naming this truth takes the weight of shame off men’s shoulders and replaces it with something stronger... the possibility of healing. Because acknowledging the wound isn’t weakness. It’s the first step toward reclaiming the life and love you deserve.
